Monday, September 30, 2013

The Importance of Silence

I believe that there are times when, for whatever reason, I have been placed somewhere. There is no dramatic swelling of music, no deep felt revelation, no chorus of angels, yet somewhere inside I feel a deep-seated calm and I know that I am where I am supposed to be. It’s a feeling of purpose that threatens to take over and carry you somewhere completely new. All you have to do is step forward and accept the opportunity.
                                      
I knew that this Saturday I was “Placed.” After a long day of watching the football game and catching up with my parents I decided that I was going to brave the TCU nightlife. Luckily for me, a friend was already heading to a party and I simply had to tag along. We arrived at the house and hardly a soul was there. Ten to maybe fifteen people were at the party and I realized this was going to be a relaxed night. Or so I thought.

Within thirty minutes, 50 more people arrived and the house quickly turned into a mass of laughter and alcohol induced pheromones. I am not exactly what you would call a partier and tonight was no exception. In response to the cramped quarters, I quickly walked out to the backyard to grab some fresh air and escape the cacophony of the party.  It was there that I ran into some friends from my dorm freshman year. I talked a little and discussed the game with them but for some reason simply wasn’t interested in the conversation.

At this point I was ready to go home. Nothing wrong had happened, I wasn’t in a bad mood, I was simply…done. I was walking out the door when I saw another member of my fraternity sitting by himself and staring into the night sky. I was not particularly close with this guy but for some reason I could tell he needed someone to talk to, and while I might not be the best pep talker, I figured I could at least listen.

I sat down next to him and for a while there was silence. I took the moment to take in my surroundings. Everywhere around me there was a sense of calm. The wind blew a steady, cool breeze and, for the most part, the outside was quiet and stood in stark contrast to the heat and chaos that sporadically slipped out of the front door. Within a few minutes, my brother turned to me and asked, “How do you know when God, he, she, it, whatever is out there, is talking to you?” Stunned by the sudden question I scrambled to regain my composure. I thought to myself, “How am I supposed to answer a question like that?” and “Why would he ask me?”

But as I thought about the best way to answer it, I realized that I should tell him exactly what I was thinking. I told him that no one can tell him when or how you will be spoken to. He took a second to respond as he worked through the words, and a few seconds later simply nodded. He then proceeded to tell me the entirety of his college experience.

For the next two hours we barely moved. We talked about everything, sports, the weather, girls, family, alcohol, our fraternity, and most importantly our “place.” He went over what was troubling him and how he was dealing with it, and I simply listened. It was amazing to see how he relaxed as he told his story. It seemed that all he needed was a way to vent his frustrations. In effect, one of the best talks I have ever had in my life was one where I didn’t talk.
Seeing the way my brother grew more calm and confident from our talk, I have decided search out those who just need someone to talk to.

3 comments:

  1. Hi, Conner! I've totally been in a similar situation, in which someone randomly decides to pour out their life to you. Sometimes listening can be tedious, but other times it can be rewarding. It reminds me of that saying, "Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all." I think listening is a lost art--definitely something all of us have to work on. Thanks for posting!

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  2. Hi Conner, This is really a thoughtful, well done reflection. Thanks for the good work.

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  3. Conner, this is amazing! Although most people don't know it, just listening can be one of the hardest things to do, but it's also what people most often need. I don't know that I would have had the state of mind to do what you did if a situation like this was thrown at me. Thanks for this! I'm sure you made your fraternity brother's day and you definitely just made mine!

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